This month I focus on addiction and how it can affect you and your relationship. The subject I cover this month is not always spoken about in the psychiatric or treatment communities and some still do not classify porn addiction as an addiction, but I strongly believe it falls under the category of addiction. And while some addictions like gambling are much more accepted, many questions where addiction ends and compulsion starts when looking at porn addiction. But regardless, many people are suffering, so whether it is an addiction or compulsion they will still need help and understanding. Porn addiction is one of the most reported problems, of people who feel a compulsion to watch porn, but cannot stop. Like a lot of addictions, there are signs to suggest that someone may be having a problem.
They can’t stop
Morning, noon and night they are on their phone or the pc. You may have made attempts to communicate with them about the amount of usage on their phone and they may have looked like they see your point, they may even make attempts to stop, but despite all of this they will return to the habit.
Wanting more
With lots of addictions like cocaine, many will experience cravings, people who suffer from porn addiction will suffer from cravings if they have gone a certain amount of time without porn. They may also become sneaky and go off into a room and with that, they may become a little defensive when questioned on their whereabouts.
Losing time
People suffering from porn addiction can lose track of time by spending most of their day trying to watch porn. Missing events or family arrangements and not being fully there for conversations.
Losing interest in sex
Porn addiction can make you lose interest in real sex and find partners less attractive due to comparing people seen on a porn film. They can lose interest in the advances of a partner, seeming distant or uninterested in having sex. This may be due to requiring more stimulation than they needed before to become aroused.
More demanding
Suffering porn addiction can lead to unrealistic ideas on sex, making the sufferer more demanding in bed and extremely frustrated. This can lead to alienation for their partner and can leave their partner feeling physically and emotionally uncomfortable. Unrealistic ideas of beauty, can make a partner feel hurt and can create problems with their self-esteem.
Physical pain
People addicted to porn frequently complain about the wrist, back, neck pain and headaches, which comes from excessive computer use.
Losing money
A lot of porn these days are free on many media formats, but once you start spending money on those high-quality films it can be a blow to the wallet. Porn addict will be constantly complaining about money but will be unwilling to disclose where their money troubles stem from.
Like any addiction, there is always some shame in what they are doing and it can therefore be hard to talk about the problem. But only by opening up and talking, can there be a way to help. Tell your partner when it all started, as it may help them to understand it is not about them and they are not to blame for this. Look at counselling for one to one sessions and also for couples counselling. Sex therapists are also a great help when it comes to reeducating the sexual mind. At Zencentre I believe that encouraging open communication and role-playing is very helpful with sex addiction, as it brings couples closer and ignites sensual lovemaking to your relationship.
Thank You for reading,
Zena Finn
Zencentre
