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Is my partner listening?

So your planned guests have arrived, you’ve been looking forward to this all month. As you watch the guests park in your drive from the living room window, your partner passes you, looks at you and sees you’re all dressed up “Are you off somewhere?” Or “Who’s parking in our drive?”

It’s one that never gets old, but sadly this is not a joke. You must have told your partner at least once a week, that your friends were coming this Saturday?!! So you guess he/she hasn’t been listening and you’ve been talking to yourself all this time.

In a way you have been talking to yourself and you may ask how is this possible. Whether you’re talking or listening, you need to be clear about why something is being said. Motive and message is important.

There are reasons for people not listening, one reason is timing. A number of men and women will ask their partner to listen when they are in the middle of something. Remember some people focus on nothing but the job at hand and you are just another noise until they finish. Pick the best time, talk to your partner before they start their task and if you’ve forgotten before they begin, respect their time and let them finish. Another bad time to talk or asked to be listened to, is when they are tired or trying to sleep.

One other reason for not being listened to, is over talking. You may at times get excited while trying to give out information to your partner and over give on details. Sometimes too much information, can sound like the planning is still in the works and so allows someone to believe it’s not worth listening to yet.

This can all be avoided with some very simple steps. Make sure you have the main information you need to give out and that the event or guests have been organised. Choose a time to speak to your partner. Also another good idea is to have a kitchen calendar and to have it on hand when speaking. Once you can see they are ready to listen, tell them Who, Date, Time and how long. As you speak write that information in the calendar, this gives your partner a sense of the importance of the day and the clear information allows them to feel it’s worth listening.

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